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The "F" Word

May 18, 2012 - Kristy MacKaben
I was lost in my thoughts making dinner when Julie suddenly blurted "A boy in my class always says the 'F' word." My first reaction was anger. Why the heck are kindergarteners using that language?! Then, I became a tad skeptical. How does Julie even know what the "F" word is? So, I asked Julie to whisper the word in my ear. "I can't! It's a bad word. I'm too embarrassed!" Julie said, shocked I would even ask. This wasn't a good sign. Then, I asked her to spell it. "I don't think I know how," Julie replied. Another bad sign. "Just try," I said, more than curious now. "Well....I think it's F-A-R-T," she whispered, her face getting red. I had to stop myself from grinning and/or cheering. "Yes. You're right. Now don't ever say that, ok?" I told her solemnly. I couldn't help but be completely amused that my sheltered little girl is completely appalled at the word "Fart". We say "Stinky". Not sure why that's any better than "Fart," but somehow it's less rude in our minds. The thing is that word was totally off limits in my family too. The first time I ever heard the word "Fart" was when it was uttered by my older cousin, and my mom immediately shushed him and threw him daggers. I just knew it was something you never ever say. Our word was "Windy", and I think that's a truly original nomer for flatulence. Have you ever heard anyone else say "Excuse me. I just did a windy"? Imagine my complete embarrassment as a middle or high schooler when I realized that word does not exist. I have never met anyone outside of my immediate four-member family who uses that term. Maybe that's why my parents liked it--because it was our secret code. I'm not sure how Scott and I decided on "Stinky", but I guess it's an accurately descriptive term. It's not the best, however, when your 3-year-old decides to announce his "stinky" in a restaurant. There's no mistaking what he means by that one. So, what terms do you use? Are there any off-limit words in your house?


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